Let’s talk about wedding RSVP options. I know I know, getting people to RSVP is one of the greatest struggles of the wedding planning process. I wish I could tell you there’s a formula you can follow that if you write in their names with the number of guests invited and even attach a stamp to the envelope that you’ll get a 100% response rate by the deadline. That’s every bride’s dream (it was mine when I was getting married, too), but humans are human and forget to reply.. Or worse, invite their own separate guest list to your wedding.
So what’s a bride to do?
Let’s start from the beginning. There are several strategies one can use when deciding on an RSVP. That brings us to the big debate: old fashioned paper and envelope RSVP or an online RSVP. Which is better? Well, there are two aspects you should consider before you pick one or the other.
First, which would you prefer? Do you want the ease of the all-digital life or are you a paper girl like me and love snail mail? Does your budget allow for more pretty paper goods? Will you be moving in the middle of the RSVP period to where your address will change before the deadline?
I had a similar problem where I wasn’t going to be at my apartment for the month before our wedding, so my parents graciously offered to receive and record all of my RSVPs. If this hadn’t been an option, then digital would have been best for us. So, what works best for your situation?
Second, and maybe more importantly, which will your guests respond to best? Do you have a bunch of non-digitally savvy (read: elderly) guests invited? Maybe traditional paper is better. Are your friends a bunch of digital nomads who live on their laptops and phones or loathe the post office? They’d probably prefer a quick and easy “yes!” on your wedding website.
Have a mix of both? I’ve had clients who have opted to mainly use a wedding website but also ordered a small quantity of RSVPs that they sent to their less tech-savvy guests to be sure that everyone could easily reply. You could even list the website on a paper RSVP and give guests the option to do whichever is easier.
So now that you know which route you’ll go, let’s talk about the details.
The RSVP by date.
I have brides ask me about this all the time because most people don’t think about it until they’re ordering invitations. Here’s how to figure it out: Go through all of your contracts with vendors and see if and when each vendor needs a final guest count by. This will likely be determined mostly by your venue or caterer, but its possible your decorator, cake, or bartender will also need the final guest count. Once you get all of these dates, you know that the earliest one is your hard deadline. Then depending on how much time you think you’ll need, make the deadline to RSVP at least one week before that date.
I like to give AT LEAST a week cushion because often guests will think of the reply by date as the day they need to get the RSVP card in the mail. Obviously, that won’t work if you need the final count that same day. Having a week cushion also ensures that you’ll have time to call the slackers who don’t reply.
For the brides that want a wedding website for their RSVPs
Even without a paper RSVP, you’ll still want to let people know how to get to your website and when they need to RSVP by. If you’re having a formal wedding, this information should be included on a separate details card, not on the invitation itself. If you’re having a semi-formal or more casual wedding, you’ve got a few more options. We can put it on the invitation itself if there’s room, or we could include it on the back of the invitation, on a details card, or a separate small insert. Wherever you include it, be sure that the information is prominent so people will see and reply.
For the brides that are going with classic paper RSVP’s
Let’s talk about how we can best improve your chances of getting your RSVP’s back. You’ll want to include the reply by date so that it can be easily seen. Many brides these days are opting to write in the name of the invited guests on the RSVP card so that it is clear who exactly is invited. Maybe even go one step further by adding the statement “we have reserved ____ seats in your honor” so that it is clear if they have a plus one or if the kids are invited as well. This will decrease your odds of people inviting their own guests to your wedding, which unfortunately is a common problem.
It’s proper etiquette to include a stamp on the envelope and write the recipient address on the envelope. This *should* greatly improve the chances you’ll get it back because less effort for your guests = better response rate.
So to recap, the best way to get your guests to RSVP is to make it as easy for them as possible. Choose a method, whether paper RSVP or digital, that they’ll be likely to use. Then make it clear who is invited, how many guests they have, and the date that the RSVP needs to be returned by.
I can almost guarantee you’ll still have some stragglers after your respond by date. It’s inevitable. Hopefully, by using these tactics, you’ll minimize the need to call your guests as the wedding is rapidly approaching and actually get your RSVPs back on time.
