“May you have all the love that you need”
Sometimes brief moments or phrases just stick out to you as you’re moving through life. This was one of them.
A couple weeks ago, Evan and I went up to receive a blessing after mass was over from a visiting French priest (if you’re not religious, stick around). We introduced ourselves and as he began to pray over us, he started with that phrase – “May you have all the love that you need.” I’ll be honest, I don’t remember the rest of what he said, but I vividly remember those words and I’ve pondered them since.
My first thought was, admittedly, selfish. “May YOU have all the love that YOU need, Julia.” As if he was saying that I was entitled to all the love I could want or ask for. Love from my husband, Evan, from my parents and friends, from God. It’s not wrong in any way to desire love from others, but as I kept thinking, my understanding of what he said moved beyond this self-centered view.
May you have all the love that you need for each other.
Marriage takes love. Lot’s of it. It’s not just some fleeting feeling that you happen upon. I know from experience that it’s definitely a choice — a daily choice. Some days it takes more effort than others and some days it feels effortless. But the ability to be so full of love that you give it to your spouse and others freely without second thought – wouldn’t that be so sweet?
I think that’s both the goal and the underlying power of marriage — two people who choose to love one another daily in spite of the day’s circumstances. Sure, it’s great to be married and have a partner to do things with, but what’s the real purpose beyond companionship? One deeper purpose (that I believe the visiting priest was hinting at) is to be so full of love that it overflows to those around you – to family, friends and the community. I am a firm believer that marriage and family has an incredible ability to impact communities, because when you feel loved and affirmed at home, you’re that much more able to love on those you meet each day.
It all starts at home.
Now I don’t claim to have all of the answers (not even close!) but could it be that many of today’s problems in society are rooted in our home lives and the faltering of families? Please hear me that I’m not casting shame or blame if you come from a broken home, but I think it bears consideration that if we want to improve our neighborhoods, communities, culture, then we need to first better our home and the lives of those around us. Our marriages and families are the best place to make a huge and lasting impact for generations, quite literally. When two people love each other well even in the midst of their craziest days, they create something bigger than each of them could on their own. Marriage is a multiplier, be it for good or ill.
It all starts at home in our closest relationships. As you near closer to your big day and stepping into marriage, my greatest hope for you is that you may have all the love that you need.
